Mom guilt and comparison with other mamas is so real. When your social media feeds are constantly flooded with picture perfect moments (or so it seems), it's hard not to feel guilty about the way you are doing things or hard not to compare your child to theirs. The bottom line is that we're all doing our very best, we all love our babies, and in our children's eyes, they love us... so that's all that matters. I wrote some statements about things I have felt guilty over or have compared myself/my babies to others. Just keep doing what you're doing mamas, because you're doing a great job.
Just because I had a c-section, doesn't mean I had any less of a labor/delivery experience. I was induced, dilated to 10 cm, pushed for 90 minutes, told baby's A's head was not coming out of the birth canal no matter how hard I pushed, prepped for c-setion, felt the scalpel, intubated and put right out, and missed the first moments of my babies' lives... so yeah, I've been through it all, and I still got hemorrhoids postpartum ;)
Just because I had to supplement with formula, doesn't mean I wanted to or that I wasn't nourishing my babies properly. Fed is best and our babies needed to gain weight to thrive!
Just because I went with the "Cry it Out" method for sleep training, doesn't mean that I am a mean or strict mama. It's simply what worked for us and what we were comfortable with. But just an FYI, babies will have no psychological damage from crying, thank you very much.
Just because I didn't join all the mommy and me groups, doesn't mean I'm a "no-fun mom". I found it way too hard to leave the house with two babies, and our schedule never worked out with activities!
Just because our kids don't watch t.v. doesn't mean I am against T.V., or hate it. I am a huge T.V. junkie, Netflix binger, and movie watcher. Our kids just aren't interested and entertained by the screen (for now)!
Just because I didn't wear my babies all the time, doesn't mean I am against it, or didn't want to. I actually bought two beautiful bamboo baby carriers, and wished I could've used them more! I just couldn't wear two at once! And if I only wore one baby, how do you choose between two crying babies! Someone send me a carrier that can hold two babies, and I'll do it!
Just because I didn't love every minute of it, doesn't mean I don't love being a mama. Being a mama is the best thing that has happened to me since meeting my hubby. I love my babies so so much, but there were some pretty shit moments in the early days.
Just because my kids don't eat all organic food, doesn't mean they are unhealthy. Organic food is expensive and 100% Organic isn't always possible in our small town.
Just because my babies don't eat meat or dairy doesn't mean they aren't developing properly! On occasion, they will eat some animal products, but we're all about plant power around here!
Just because I don't rush into the nursery the moment my babes wake up, doesn't mean I am neglecting them. They are safe, happy, and FINE in there for a bit if I can't get to them right away, or if I just need one.more.hot.minute.
Have you felt guilty over any of the above statements? Have you compared yourself to other mamas with certain decisions on parenting? It's completely fine that we all do things differently! And really, I should've have had to defend my decisions with each statement, but I just wanted to give a little more insight into my parenting style/our life. We all love our children and that is all that matters.
What got me fired up about this topic is that last month, two mamas publicly shamed me for choosing to vaccinate my babies. I know that is a sensitive and controversial topic, but I've always tried to live my life with the saying, "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all". Let's shut down mom guilt and comparison, by being kind to one another, supporting one another, and lifting one another up. Even if we disagree on certain things! Just remember, not your life, not your problem.
Thanks for stopping by and reading,
MRS. + MAMA