My hubby and I just got back from our first night away from the boys. Our boys are just over 9 months old. We went to Radium Hot Springs and stayed overnight in Invermere at Copper Point. We went for drinks and out for dinner. We slept in (slightly), went for a hot tub, and breakfast in Fairmont before returning to our babies. To sum up our little getaway: amazing.
Having babies changes everything. The biggest change in my life to having babies was definitely my marriage. When we found out we were pregnant, we'd only been married for 2 months. 2 months to ourselves, before I had two babies kicking in my belly and then 2 babies Earth side with us. Having twins was extremely stressful on us. We were exhausted and adjusting to our new lives as parents (to TWO!). I lost myself in being a mama, and forgot that I was also a wife.
In the past nine months we have hardly had anytime for ourselves, let alone us as a couple. We've been on dates, and I've been to spin classes, and Tim's been working, but it's never more than a few hours. For any stay-at-home parent, you know how exhausting raising babies is (rewarding and special, but exhausting). You know how the lack of adult interaction can send you into downward spiral. You know what it's like to not get dressed or have 5 minutes to go to the bathroom.
There's definitely been some disconnect between my hubby and I over the past 9 months. We had some high months and had some low months. We've always come out of our low months as a stronger couple, and I credit that to our strength in communication. But, even couples who connect and find small moments for themselves as a pair, need a getaway every once in awhile.
We finally decided to get away, overnight, just us two, back in the beginning of February. We were ready. So ready. We planned to go to celebrate my birthday. I was excited all week leading up to it. I was looking forward just to drive in the car, enjoy my coffee, and not look back every few minutes to check on babies or listen to crying babies. I was excited for adult conversation, to connect with my husband again. I turn into a total dreamer on road trips. We talk about everything that excites us and what we want to do with our lives. We make big plans and get fired up about things. We laughed, had good conversations, took shameless selfies and overall throughly enjoyed each other's company. I realized how much I missed my hubby. Even though we see each other everyday, we usually only have a few hours together and that time is filled with eating dinner, tidying, showering, watching t.v., and pumping milk (only me haha). We are both so tired from our day of work, that we spend the evenings pretty quietly.
I have to say, now that we've been away, I am already addicted. I can't wait to get away again or go on another date. When we had the babes, we made a promise to have a date once a month. Luckily, we've had a few dates a month in the last while because of the boys' excellent sleeping habits (cough cough, sleep training!). It is so important to connect with your partner. Whether you go for a date, getaway for a weekend, have a glass of wine together, play a game, or go for a walk just the two of you, it's so important. I have to remind myself sometimes that I am not only a mother, I am a wife. I think I forget this, because we had our kids so quickly. While I feel really lucky, I get nostalgic thinking of the days of just Tim and I. I wouldn't change anything, I love being a family of four, but I am not just a mama!
I am going to make it a goal to connect with my hubby and share some alone time once a week. For me, I need to get out of the house. I spend all day in our home (especially with this winter that has lasted for what seems like forever), and so when we put the boys to bed, I want to get dressed, put on makeup and go out! But, do what works for you and your partner. Just make the time. I believe that if you are proactive and spend the time connecting and communicating, that it'll build a stronger relationship going forward in your lives.
Thanks for stopping by,
MRS. + MAMA