This is not the original post I had intended to share this week. I had written something else on routine and schedules, but my heart was telling me to write about another topic instead... a tough topic, which is what this blog's purpose is. So, without leaving you hanging any longer, my weekly blog post:
Mamahood ... where to begin ... it's been almost 9 months of raising my boys, at home, on maternity leave. I've mentioned before that I was naive to what Motherhood would be like. I honestly pictured myself watching lots of Netflix with a Venti Starbucks, chilling out while the babies slept. Yeah, it's not all like that. There are moments like that, but most days I find myself exhausted, tired, frustrated, and downright lonely!
I thought maternity leave would also include lots of time with my mama friends who were also at home, raising their babies. I can count on two hands how many times I've had playdates, or times with my mama friends. The number is low. But I get it! We all have our own things going on, we all have kids on different schedules and routines, and we're ALL tired! It's easier to be at home, alone, than rally the troops and get our butts out to meet friends. I am usually MORE exhausted when I get home. The time spent with friends and other babies is definitely good for the soul. I wish I could do it more often, but it's just not happening. Also, my hubby is usually gone from 6:30 a.m. until 4:30 p.m. Thank goodness for grandparents, which allows me some adult conversation (and help! so happy for the help!)
Not only is Motherhood lonely, physically (by yourself all day with baby or in my case, babies), but mentally it's lonely. After dealing with postpartum blues and anxiety, I felt myself alone. Especially with being a twin mama ... it's just SO incredibly different than being a singleton mama. Both are AMAZING, but I struggled to relate to mamas with only one baby. Many mamas out there seemed to be finding everything peachy keen and just LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT (I hate when people say that). And that's the key word: seemed .... people often portray a perfect life on their IG and Facebook and when you ask how they're doing, they often reply "OH GREAT!" ... when in reality, is that actually how their life is? I guess I fell into a lonely pit when I felt like I was the only one in this boat. Especially with the twin situation.
I have one good friend who is completely honest about Motherhood and Marriage and Life in general. We text everyday. Usually in the morning when we're just getting things together, and then maybe during nap times or in the evenings when the kids are in bed. A lot of the time we bitch and complain. But it feels SO good to have a friend who will listen to me and who will also share similar experiences, or her struggles with Motherhood, Marriage, and Life. I am so thankful for this friendship. I literally would be going batty here on my couch if I didn't have this friendship in my life. I would be wondering if I was the only one going through certain things, or having certain feelings and frustrations. I can always count and lean on her for support. Thank you, Milana! Everyone needs someone like her in their life :)
The honest truth is that we all just need to be more HONEST. I guarantee that there are other mamas out there with 1 kid, 2 kids, 5 kids, singletons, twins, triplets, whatever!! who have also felt lonely in their Motherhood journey. Please share if you've ever felt this way!!
I've really had to focus on being present and living in the moment. When times are tough, I always look forward to the future. Truthfully, things have gotten easier in the past 3 or 4 months. But up until then, I kept wishing away our days and just hoping to get to an easier place. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. I was the faint of heart. I am toughening up. But, it's a work in progress. I work on being happy with myself, my life, and my family. Things aren't so lonely when you realize you have everything you ever wanted under your roof. Also, finding hobbies that you can do within your schedule is great too. Blogging, getting my nails done, going to spin classes, and making connections with other mamas on social media has helped me tremendously. Online shopping is great as well ;)
I still would love a mama date or a glass of wine with friends every once in awhile ... thankfully I'm going to do just that tonight!
MRS. + MAMA