When you're a new mom, you really lean on your friends and family and other mamas for support. Since being a mom for about 9 months now, I've come up with some things that I really loved (and still love!) hearing from my loved ones (or even strangers!). Sometimes just a few words can completely brighten a new mama's day and mean the world to her.
"You look great!" - What woman wouldn't want to hear this at any time in their life? But, to new mamas, this can seriously mean the world. Even though 99% of mamas will reply, "No I don't" or "I'm working on it" or "No, you're the one that looks great", or "Well, I certainly don't feel that way". These three words are amazing and will work wonders on someone's mood. To a mom who is sleep deprived, covered in spit up, in yesterday's clothes, and still carrying around her mommy tummy, this line is the very best. At the very least, it will put a smile on her face and maybe a pep in her step.
"I'm on my way and I'm bringing ____________ (insert mama's favourite food/drink here -- personally mine are wine, coffee, and chocolate)." - Don't ask a mama if she needs anything or if she wants anything, just SHOW up and bring something. I mean if the mama is super picky, you could text her before and ask, but a surprise is fun too! This small gesture shows how well you know her and will definitely brighten her mood or give her some energy for the rest of the day (and night). Not only are treats and drinks and food great, but so are flowers! Flowers are always a good idea ... (cough, cough ... men in our lives!!)
"I know exactly how you feel." OR "I had the same/similar thing happen to me." When you say this, you connect. You show her compassion, empathy, and understanding. Sometimes a new mama just needs to know that whatever she (or baby) is experiencing and/or feeling is completely normal and that other mamas go through the same things. We're all in this together, after all. #MamaTribe
"I'm here for you." - Being a mom is hard. We need our support systems. Let a new mom know that you're there for her. And don't just say that, SHOW UP and be present. Don't be in a rush, put your phone away (maybe come kid-free so that you can focus on her and her babe), ask what you can do for her around the house or if you can hold the baby so she can go shower or tidy or nap or whatever!!
"How are you? Like, really, how are you?" - So many people ask new moms how they are, and then many new moms reply with "Oh great. Everything's going really well. I am just loving every minute of it!". Depending on how close you are with her, you will be able to tell if this is the honest answer. Sometimes if you ask again, she may open up about how things are actually going. It's marriages, friendships, and life in general that can get rocked and shaken when babies and kids enter the picture.
"You're doing a great job." - No matter what decisions she makes, or how she parents, it is her life and her choice, and she is doing the very best she can. We are all doing our very best and we're all doing a great job. Mamas need to hear this every once in awhile. We have all questioned some of our decisions and have low moments/days/weeks. Support that mama in need by telling her that she's doing just fine.
BONUS: Silence - Some new mamas don't need to hear anything at all. They just need an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, or arms to hold their crying baby. Sometimes silence is golden!
Support one another. Love one another. Be present in each other's lives.
Thanks for stopping by!
MRS. + MAMA